The Romano Factor
John Romano
John Romano’s name is synonymous with “no bull-crap,” “candid,” and “hardcore.” He’s worked tirelessly to build up an ironclad reputation in the fitness industry through his work as senior editor of Muscular Development magazine and co-founder of Rx Muscle (see also: Heavy Muscle Radio and Muscle Girls Inc.). He’s been consulted as a steroid expert on HBO, ESPN, and ABC’s 20/20, as well as the movie Bigger, Stronger, Faster. Most recently, John worked as director of Internet media at VPX (and host of Shotgun Radio). In his spare time, he is a contributing author for countless blogs, magazines, and articles, including authoring the Muscle Meals cookbook.
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The Romano Factor - Implants
Silicon Muscle Implants Raise the Question: Are Those Pecs or Boobs
About 2,600 years ago, a wrestler named Milo, from the city of Croton in southern Italy, threw a calf over his shoulder and carried it around until it became a bull, thus demonstrating progressive resistance as a means of developing strength and muscle mass. Ever since then, picking up heavy stuff and putting it back down has become the accepted means of building muscle mass and strength. Then, in 1961, a little company called Dow Corning collaborated with two Houston cosmetic surgeons to create the first silicone breast implant made from a rubber sac filled with viscous silicone gel. Ah, the genius! Few things in life are as deliciously salacious as a perfectly engineered pair of double D boobs (I use the word “boobs” instead of “breasts” because breasts are what feed a newborn, while boobs are made for grown-ups and offer no nutritional value). However, since their invention, enterprising plastic surgeons have used that basic design to not only spice up the bedrooms of some otherwise under-endowed women but also spice up the musculature of some lazy physique artists.
Suddenly, in addition to puffing up the formerly flat chests of unfortunate females, more or less the same prosthetic devices began puffing up the pecs of men. Then came calf implants, butt implants, biceps implants, and the list goes on. Today, pretty much any lagging bodypart can be built, not with the old-fashioned method invented by our good friend Milo of Croton, but rather with the same technology invented in the ‘60s to build boobs. Now, I don’t know about you, but I put such shenanigans in the same category as the numbskulls who jack themselves up by injecting copious amounts of oil into their muscles.
In certain cases, it’s actually possible to use fat to shape and sculpt a body part. Autologous tissues (your own body’s fat and skin) are generally used in cases where firmness in the muscle isn’t required. But, if you want to have certain areas enlarged and firm, and don’t want to lift weights, then the only choice would be to have a muscle implant installed. Other than your friends and associates remarking at what a lazy jackass you are for spending $10,000 to instantly build your “lagging” body part, other side effects of having a bag of silicon installed in place of hard work include bleeding, infection, skin discoloration, deformity, temporary numbness, lumps, irregularities, minor asymmetry, permanent scarring, excessive skin, waviness, surface irregularities, persistent edema, altered areas of sensation, surgical shock, pulmonary complications, seromas, hematomas, skin loss, impingement of a nerve or blood vessel by the implant, anesthesia risk, chronic pain, positional changes and, of course, disappointment with the result. Of course I’m all for a big pair of fake boobs just as much as the next guy, but that is exactly where silicon bags should stay. If you have a lagging body part and opt to have it built with an implant rather than focused training and hard work, then you’re a dork.
And, don’t you dare even think about entering a bodybuilding contest and flexing such a thing. You’ll be disqualified, if not taken out back and beaten by guys with real muscles.
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