From The War Zone To Centre Stage

When I first decided to compete, it was just supposed to be a one-time deal where I competed once, took the experience, and moved on. But the competition bug bit hard, and I found myself wanting more. It’s kind of like taking a bite out your favorite cheat food after a competition; you can’t just stop at one! Two wins later, and my passion for fitness and love for setting new goals for myself had me itching to do another show. I was hooked on the journey! It didn’t just motivate new fitness goals; it gave me the strength and courage to go after anything I wanted in life. I became even more inspired when my coach, Danielle Rubin, won her IFBB pro card. The stage was set, and plans were in place to do another show. Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would end up prepping for a show in a bomb-riddled war zone. Nor did I think I would be motivated by people I’d never met and that I would soon call friends.

I was on top of the world and couldn’t wait to get back onstage—only, life had other plans in store for me. One week after the last OPA show I competed in, I was offered my dream adventure job as a contract flight attendant. The company I now work for sends Canadian flight crews to various war-torn countries in the Middle East and Africa. Our flight crews have worked on behalf of numerous military and humanitarian aid missions in some of the most challenging regions of the world. Initially I was drawn to this line of work because of the desire I had to work in Africa. The desire soon turned into anxiety and uncertainty when I was assigned to a location in Afghanistan—smack dab in the middle of an aggressive war zone. I was moving to a highly targeted air base, where I would soon come to accept rocket attacks as a fact of life.

My new home was now a shipping container. Yes, you read that right: I lived in a shipping container—the same type of containers you would see an 18-wheeler hauling down a highway. Miles of barbed wire enclosed the perimeter of our base, separating us from the fierce combat zone right outside. The rockets were impossible to predict. When one hit, it was protocol to hit the ground, cover your head, wait two minutes, then run to a bunker and wait for the “all clear” signal. This was my new norm! To ease the anxiety of my new surroundings, I switched my mind back to fitness. There was another OPA show scheduled for the end of my tour in Afghanistan. It was the last one of the season and the only one I could compete in. The motivation was definitely there, but the travel and diet would be a huge challenge. There are no grocery stores on base, and everyone eats at the chow halls, a cafeteria-style facility with limited healthy food options.

Competition prep was well under way when the first major challenge presented itself. My temporary security clearance was about to expire, and there was no telling how long the permanent security pass would take. This meant that I had to have an escort assigned to me at all times. I could not eat, go to the gym, or work unless the escort accompanied me. In fact, I couldn’t even leave my shipping container unescorted. With no clearance approval in sight, I had to find an escort fast! Doing this wasn’t going to be easy as it would have to be someone on base with the security clearance I needed who was willing to volunteer his or her time and who had a similar work schedule.

Mike Messer, an aircraft mechanic from Sturgeon Falls, Ontario, not only agreed to escort me but also encouraged me to continue my competition prep. This meant we went to the gym together twice a day, every day. He also escorted me to the chow halls to pack up healthy food for my flights. Due to time constraints with our conflicting work schedules, morning cardio had to be done at 4 a.m. This went on for two weeks until I was finally granted my own pass and Mike was set free. The most amazing part is, Mike had never set foot in a gym in his life before agreeing to help me. This man went from never working out to living a competitor’s lifestyle literally overnight and didn’t complain about a single workout. I will forever be grateful for Mike’s selflessness. He left Afghanistan before I did, but the determination he displayed in the gym and his compassion stayed with me.

With the increasing challenges of inadequate food options, limited supplements, and rocket attacks disrupting the focus of my workouts, this competition prep was anything but normal and was plagued with setbacks. However, given the surroundings, my motivation was through the roof. Every morning, I would sit at a picnic table on the boardwalk and watch the sunrise. The troops would typically be running the track or taking part in a grueling boot camp at this time. Talk about motivation! Here I was working out for sport while the troops were training to save their own lives in the field. As civilians, we’re given the freedom and safety to pursue our dreams because of the sacrifices others have made and are still making. I owe it to myself, and to them, to be the best that I can be simply because I can!

The competition was 30 days away when a major setback popped up. The security measures on our base were being amended, and the food takeaway option for civilians was no longer allowed. This meant that from that point on, I and the other civilians on base would have to eat all of our meals while seated in the chow hall and had a maximum of only three meals per day. It was also not possible to pack food for my flights. There was only one week left before flying home to finish my prep in Ontario, and there was no way I was giving up for the sake of one tough week. I had come too far, and quitting was not an option. I had to try to make do with what I had and hope it wouldn’t set me back too far. At that point, something started to happen: my flight crew and some of my military friends began leaving Ziploc bags full of spinach and chicken on my doorstep. Their support gave me the push I needed to see this through.

On November 6, 2012, I started the two-day journey home. The travel took a toll on my body. As soon as I landed in Toronto, it was straight to the grocery store and a full night of food prep. The following morning, I was back on track with a new gym and kitchen to cook in. It was great to be home! Later that day, I discovered an envelope in my suitcase from my best friend on base. Inside the envelope was a tear-jerking motivational letter, some new workout music, and two dog tags. One of the tags belonged to my friend, and the other read “Operation Enduring Freedom.” This is the name of the mission in Afghanistan. These tags were meant to be my good-luck charm backstage and my friend’s way of being present at the show.

The morning of the show had arrived, and I was a nervous wreck. To calm my nerves, I decided to look through some photos from the tour and my friend’s letter. With all the ups and downs, travel, diet setbacks, security issues, and rocket attacks, I had persevered. The end of my friend’s letter read, “Appreciate the accomplishment of knowing you did your best, you overcame, you stayed true, and inspired to the fullest extent. Good luck with your competition, but in all honesty no matter what happens… you already won.” And he was right. I didn’t need a trophy to be proud of what I had accomplished. Reaching the stage that day knowing I had never given up was my reward. My focus had now changed, and I was stepping onstage for all the people who had helped me through my journey and motivated me to keep going no matter the circumstance. My win was their win, and I simply wanted the trophy for “my team” overseas.

When I reached the hall that day, my sister and nephew (from Calgary) were seated in the audience. My sister had never seen me onstage before and felt this was the perfect moment for a surprise visit. To add to the excitement, she was holding a beautiful bouquet sent by my friends in Afghanistan. At that moment, I realized my friends in Afghanistan had secretly been in touch with my family and coach back home. Throughout the day I sent video messages back and forth with my friends on base, constantly keeping them in the loop. The night show had arrived, and it was officially time to hear the results. I went back out onstage, received the first callout, and was then moved to the middle. Moments later, my number was announced and I had won the Figure medium category. I was in shock! The OPA judges had no idea where I had just come from and what this meant to me, but that’s not what they were judging me on. All they could see was the final package, and all I could see was the journey.

Many people have asked me how I kept going under the circumstances. Well, life will always throw you obstacles to overcome. You can’t blame your circumstances or other people around you if you’re not where you want to be in life. If you have a goal, give it all you’ve got. I am extremely grateful for the support I received and will never forget this journey to the stage. I’ve grown tremendously from my experiences and have learned so much about myself along the way. It has definitely made me a better competitor, and I appreciate the challenge … win or lose. Thank you once again to all my friends, family, coach, sponsors, and aircrew who encouraged me along the way. More so, thank you to the military forces that sacrifice every day for our freedom, giving us the opportunity to achieve our goals.