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Training For Mass

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What you’re about to read isn’t some long-winded general yoga party about gradually gaining a pissant five pounds in three months that no one will care about or even notice. What I’m talking about is shirt-splitting, shadow-casting, jaw-dropping mass. The kind of freakin’ size that demands respect in a hurry.

This program is about pain, suffering, breaking all the rules, and, most of all, my favorite motto: More is better. I’m giving you directions for cramming as much diet, training, and supplements into 20 days of hell—all designed to pile on exactly that many pounds of muscle (20, in case you couldn’t follow along—don’t make me get out the long chalkboard). For those who are about to run a cycle, you’re about to double your money and your results. If you’ve got the balls and the appetite, that door frame will get a lot smaller very quickly. Whether you’re natural or not, this program is about gaining size.

It’s Not Food It’s Fuel

You’d better be hungry. And if you’re not, well, suck it up, buttercup, because you’ll be constantly doing one of four things in the next 20 days—eating, training, sleeping, and growing. We’re going to tackle eating first. I can’t stress this enough: If you don’t eat, you will not grow. I don’t care if you need your friend to ram it down your throat with his fist. “I’m full” is not a phrase we tolerate in this program. You’ll be eating eight times a day. If you’re really serious, you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and down a “gainer” (most of the pros do). Now, “eating” can be anything from solid food to a weight gainer. Gainers are preferred, as they allow you to take anabolism to new heights without getting slowed down by stacks of solid grub!

Simple Math,Einstein

I don’t have the time or space to give everybody a meal plan tailored to individual bodyweight. We’ll work off one plan based on bodyweight. You’re smart; you can figure it out. Overall, you want to increase your daily calories, and one of the most effective and easy ways to do it is with a good weight-gainer shake. Of course, the burning question is, “Will I get fat?” You will get big—not shredded, but you’ll add muscle.

It’s the price of doing business. You won’t get fat if you follow the program exactly (and do what I do, which is keep cranking the stims in the morning and prior to training). It lets you train like a beast and bumps up your metabolism so that you keep the extra food you eat from making you fat. The meal plan that appears in this article is based on a 200-pound man. Adjust your intake accordingly, keeping in mind that you should feel full all the time for the first two weeks. No whining. After that, your body is gonna get used to all the food and actually anticipate the next meal (like a hungry dog). If you’ve kept your timing and portions bang on, you’ll actually start to get hungry prior to your meals. Feel free to increase the portions at that point. Remember: More is better.

Monster Mass Nutrition:

BREAKFAST
• Weight gainer (use water or skim milk)
• Multivitamin
MID-MORNING
• 6 ounces lean ground /sirloin
• 3 whole eggs
• 1 cup whole-grain rice
NOON
• Protein shake
• 8 rice cakes (large, seasoned)
MID-AFTERNOON (PRE-WORKOUT)
• 6 ounces sirloin or eye-of-round steak
• 1 cop, cooked whole-grain rice
• 1 small salad
• Creatine
• Beta-alanine
• Geranium
• Caffeine
DURING WORKOUT
• 10 g free-form amino acids
• 25 g waxy maize
• 1 scoop of whey isolate
POST-WORKOUT
• 8 egg whites
• 4 whole eggs
• 2 cups hash browns
• 25 g waxy maize
• 1 scoop of whey isolate
• 5 g creatine
EVENING
• 8 ounce turkey breast
• 2 cups brown rice
• 1 cup broccoli
BEFORE BED
• 2 scoops milk protein/casein protein powder
• 2 tbsp flax oil
• 15 large cashews
• Multivitamin
DURING SLEEP
• Weight gainer (use water or skim milk)
(set alarm for the middle of the night)

Enter the Dungeon

Once you’ve got the necessary fuel flowing through you for extreme muscle growth, you’ve got to punish that machine all to hell if it’s going to grow. My 20-day program goes fast and hard. One day on/one day off. Ten workouts. Don’t skip a day, and don’t train two days in a row. You and your body will need that day of rest. You make time for the program; it doesn’t make time for you. Make sure you get six to eight hours of sleep every night—release that GH and recover. You’ll alternate an upper-body workout followed by a day off with a lower-body workout followed by a day off and so on. That gives you three days off for growth and recovery while training each half of your body twice.

Monster Mass Training Split:

WEEK #1
MONDAY: Upper Body 1
TUESDAY: OFF
WEDNESDAY: Lower Body 1
THURSDAY: OFF
FRIDAY: Upper Body 2
SATURDAY: OFF
SUNDAY: Lower Body 2
WEEK #2
MONDAY: OFF
TUESDAY: Upper Body 1
WEDNESDAY:
THURSDAY: Lower Body 1
FRIDAY: OFF
SATURDAY: Upper Body 2
SUNDAY: OFF
WEEK #3
MONDAY: Lower Body 2
TUESDAY: OFF
WEDNESDAY: Upper Body 1
THURSDAY: OFF
FRIDAY: Lower Body 1
SATURDAY: Off/Day 20

Monster Mass Training Program:

Upper Body 1
Flat-bench presses 5 × 4
Bent-over rows 5 × 4
Seated dumbbell presses 5 × 4
Standing one-arm cable flyes 5 × 4
Preacher curls 5 × 4
Weighted dips 5 × 4
Upper Body 2
Incline presses 5 × 4
Deadlifts 5 × 4
Standing military presses 5 × 4
Seated lateral raises 5 × 4
Dumbbell hammer curls 5 × 4
Close-grip bench presses 5 × 4
Lower Body 1
Front squats 4 × 6
Stiff-legged deadlifts 4 × 6
Leg presses 4 × 6
One-leg calf raises 4 × 6
Seated calf raises 4 × 6
Lower Body 2
Barbell squats 4 × 6
Dumbbell alternating lunges 4 × 6
Good mornings 4 × 6
Leg curls 4 × 6
Standing calf raises 4 × 6

Pregame Hype

Go as hard in the gym as you can on the amount of weight you lift on every set, but make sure you can do it for the required rep range. Pyramiding up in weight on each successive set is the best method if you want to make progress at each session. Go to total failure on every “work” set. Train with a partner if you can to squeeze out some forced reps at the end of each set. Before I head into the gym, I like to make sure I’m as jacked up as possible so I get the most from each workout. I make sure my tunes are ready, and I’m loaded to the gills with whatever will get me cranked. I’ve been using beta-alanine, and already my bench has gone up in reps and I’ve added a dime to each side. The stuff makes you tingly, but I find it works if I take it just prior to heading into the gym. Of course I’m all for a good dose of ephedrine, caffeine, geranium, or synephrine as well. It makes me crazy as a mofo and lets me eat whatever I want without getting too fat. But don’t stack these together, as that’s not allowed by Health Canada, as they say it’s very dangerous! I’m a huge fan of creatine and I’m all over it when trying to gain mass! All together now: “More is better.”

It’s All You Becoming a Monster

As I said before, this program can be successful whether or not you’re juicing, but you have to have the testicular fortitude to step up to the challenge. It’s brutal and intense, and only a happy few have completed it exactly as written. Those who did saw some pretty amazing results. Now get off your ass and start growing.

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