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Muscle Talk

Jaime Filer

Jaime Filer graduated with a kinesiology degree from York University, where she was a varsity athlete. She’s also a former competitive bodybuilder who competed in drug-tested events throughout North America. If something new is trending in fitness, chances are Jaime’s already tried it!

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Breanne Gates - Changing my Life from the Inside Out

Anytime anyone finds out I had cancer, it's always met with, "oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear that." To be honest, I know that's something everyone  would naturally say, but there's nothing to be sorry about, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. All my life I had been fairly active, at a young age like most young girls, I was involved with ballet and gymnastics, as I got a little older, I became more tom-boy-ish, I took up martial arts, and reached my black stripe before the age of 16. Even if it wasn't extra curricular activities, I still spent a lot of time outdoors, biking, canoeing, I remember always being outside with my best-friend.

Being 'in shape' wasn't a focus then, as it shouldn't be, but I was always in shape, lean with a decent amount of muscle. As I approached 17-18, I became less active, and more like a lot of typical young teenagers, I began smoking, drinking with my friends, working in bars, I moved from Ottawa to Montreal at 18 and didn't really care about my health. Those days were great, I still love all my memories, but I can't say it was the best time for me in terms of wellness, I think that's why when I was eventually diagnosed with cancer, it was a blessing in disguise. It's not to say I was out of control, I wasn't, but it was time to grow up and take things more seriously, and my diagnosis came at the right time. I had been very sick for the year before, I was 21-22, I'd sleep ALL day and never feel rested, my hair was falling out, which I thought was from a new shampoo I had been trying, I was having major issues with going to the washroom since the tumour was in my bladder. If you can remember a time where you had to pee so badly, holding it and not being able to go, that's what I lived with every day for a year, that feeling didn't stop right away either after the tumour was removed. There were several other symptoms, but they're a little more detailed and unnecessary to share.

I went from doctor to doctor, I was misdiagnosed for an entire year, I was told it was a persistent urinary infection, and was on medication. The medication would work, or maybe it was a placebo affect, I don't know, but the problem still persisted, of course. It wasn't until a doctor finally sent me in for an ultra-sound of my bladder, I remember during the appointment the woman doing the ultrasound kept focusing on my right side. I asked several times what she saw, but all I could see on the screen was a dark mass, she couldn't tell me what it was as she's not advised to, nor do I think she could know anyway, but it was definitely an abnormality, in her words.

From the ultra-sound appointment, I had another appointment for a cystoscopy, which is when they send a camera through your urethra into your bladder. So you go into the surgery room, they literally fill your bladder with water, cold water, it's an odd sensation since your whole life everything that was ever in your bladder was warm, so here I am filled with cold water having this camera search around. You're awake for this, you see the opening of your kidneys releasing fluid into the bladder, and as he turns the camera, there was this cluster of pink cells, which was actually quite pretty, I remember thinking.

I asked, "what is that?", my urologist didn't answer, I felt like time slowed down for the few moments. I got into the room after the procedure was done, and he and his assistance told me it was cancer. I have to be completely honest and I say I wasn't shocked, I didn't cry, I think I laughed and said, "at least now I know." After being sick for so long, being misdiagnosed, the constant urge to pee, I was tired and ready for the solution. He had told me that I'm the second person in his entire career to have this type of cancer at my age, typically it's in people 50+, and most have smoked their whole lives. My mom picked me up at the hospital, I was in Ottawa at this point still living in Montreal, and I told her. I don't think either of us really understood the severity of the situation, we went home, I can't remember much of the night, this was December 2009.

My mom had always gotten cysts, I imagine when she went to have it looked at she didn't think twice about it, since all her life this had been her norm. Not even 24 hours after my diagnosis did we get a call at home, because it was December and so close to Christmas the doctor said he wanted to call while she was at home to give her the news, news that her cyst was actually breast cancer. I was standing on the stairs when she told me the news, I don't think I fully digested the magnitude of what just happened, not only with me, but with her, us.

I think her being sick was the hardest on me, as we get older, I think we care for our parents differently, and all I wanted to do was take away her sickness and deal with it myself. We both had our surgeries a day apart of each other, recovered together, I vaguely remember, but she said I was very attentive to her, even though I was recovering myself. You start to realize what's important, and I changed big time. It toughened me in a lot of ways, I no longer wanted to pretend, everyone feels the need to be a certain way, or look for approval on their thoughts or opinions, although I was always quick to share my opinion, I no longer feared acceptance, if that makes sense. I wanted change, and big change, I had also gained 40lbs at this point, something I didn't know what to do with.

I began my quest of health and overall wellness, I moved back to Ottawa, I was empowered, and began educating myself on every-single-athletic-avenue-possible. I did kettle bells, boot camps, fitness classes, circuits outdoors, spinning, pole fitness, you name it, I tried it. I educated myself on nutrition as if it was going out of style, I read the label of everything, if I didn't know what the label was, I'd research the ingredient, I became a wellness junky and enthusiast, I still am!

I forced myself to go to the gym, I didn't really like it at first, I had no idea what I was doing, I was looking at videos online trying to educate myself, but it was very overwhelming. I had hired trainers, my friends were trainers, I just pushed myself to learn more and more, I kept saying, for a long time I said, "I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow," eventually I got so sick and tired of telling myself that, I forced myself to go to the gym everyday just to relieve that voice in my head.

There are tonnes of people that still go to the gym where I started, where I'm still at, I was 156lbs, with absolutely no clue what I was doing. You could ask a lot of them now how much I changed, 6 years later not only have I educated myself on nutrition, I'm educated on fitness and health, competed in 2 figure competitions where I placed third qualifying for provincials, I did it naturally in an open show, and have been cancer free ever since. I quit smoking, I very rarely drink, I'm sponsored, I'm working towards my 3rd competition this coming July, and I did it all one-step-at-a-time.

Many people know bits and pieces of my story, but no one really knows the day in and out of my journey, the efforts I went through to ensure my health was paramount, while encouraging and motivating others. My aspirations at the moment are to continue competing while helping people live a healthier lifestyle through quality nutrition, and focusing on my body's movement. I work with a physiotherapist, and RMT regularly, I do a lot of mobility work, my passion for overall wellness isn't solely on outside appearance, it has a lot to do with the functionality of my body, and optimizing my health always in all ways.

I'm now 29, cancer free and in love with my body & mind. My mom is also 6 years cancer free, we're both healthy and happy, something I wish for everyone. I know it's hard for a lot of people, we see these fitness personalities and think it all came naturally to them. Everyone has a starting point, everyone has their struggles, you can be everything you want to be, whatever that is if you start with one step, and that one step will lead you far beyond what you ever imagined, and that's how all journeys begin.